Jealousy In The Poker Room

I consider myself a humble man. I don't feel any sense of entitlement in any part of my life. I understand that you can achieve whatever you want if you're willing to work hard enough for it.

But when I frequent my local card room, I feel this pang of jealousy whenever I see this one person.

I began playing poker about eight years ago. At the time, Colorado Gaming only allowed for $5 max betting in any game in a casino, including poker. As a result, there were two kinds of poker games to play: a $2/$5 game with a single $2 blind and a $5/$5 game with a $2 small blind and a $5 big blind (This game was NUTS. The betting would routinely get capped six ways pre-flop by the crazy Asians playing this game. And I mean no disrespect; I'm just stating a fact. There were mostly Asians playing this particular game and based on the betting and raising that was happening, they were fucking crazy.). Because I was a novice, I stuck to the $2/$5 game.

And of course I started getting familiar with a lot of the players and dealers. One player in particular caught my attention because it was a woman and women were pretty scarce in the poker room. I played with her on more than one occasion and it was obvious that she was a newbie like me.

Over the years I've seen her at various casinos, either playing in a tournament or a cash game.

Just over two years ago, Colorado Gaming pulled their proverbial head out from in between their buttocks and raised the gaming limits to $100 max bet on all games. This included poker, and the casinos now run games from $4/$8 limit to $1/$2/$100 cap "no limit" to $30/$60 limit, in addition to any number of tournaments.

What recently caught my attention is that this unnamed female is spending a lot of time in the same poker room at me. At the $30/$60 game. A game that routinely has between $15,000 and $25,000 in chips on the table at any one time. With the crazy Asians.

And I'm stuck grinding away at $4/$8. And I'm jealous.

It's very obvious to me that she's worked on her poker game. That's the only way she could have built the sort of bankroll it takes to play in that game. Over the last eight years, she's studied and put in the practice and hard work to improve her poker game.

It's study and practice I really wish I had put in. Then maybe I wouldn't be stuck in the same job I was in back then. Then maybe I could be playing in the big game with the crazy Asians.

I decided last year to finally put in the work and practice it would take to become a professional poker player. I got a couple books. I played a couple tournaments pretty well and had a few small cashes. But I'm still not there. Little things get in the way of that pursuit; you know, things like work and bills and rent and food.

Anyway, I think that this jealousy can only be a good thing, really. That woman's development as a poker player is evidence that hard work and practice will work and that I can still improve my poker game significantly. And it's probably a good thing that I see her in that game every time I go play. She's a constant reminder of what I want to become.

Her and those damn crazy Asians.